In the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Gwyneth Paltrow said, “All the negative things have actually ended up being really positive because they’ve kick-started me into thinking how I want to look for the rest of my life. And you know, I don’t want to look like a mother who doesn’t care. For myself, for my work, and for my relationship, I want to look good.”

Online gossip sites, including, have reported that Paltrow has created controversy among moms by implying that if you don’t look good, you just don’t care – about yourself or how the world (including your husband and children) perceive you.  Could this possibly be true? 

For moms, looking good and caring don’t always go hand in hand.  I know that I care about how I look – it’s important to me to at least resemble the person I was before I had The Bean.  This doesn’t mean, though, that I always have the time (or energy, well-fitting clothes, money, or desire) to spend real time polishing myself up in order to make a simple trip to the grocery store.  I try harder to look good when I’m meeting friends (usually an 8 on the caring spectrum) than, say, picking up a case of formula and the “big box” of Pampers at BJ’s (a 5 at best).  Let’s face it – sometimes we just don’t care if we go out of the house without undereye concealer and an outfit that would make Stacey London proud.  That doesn’t mean, though, that we shouldn’t.

It’s almost cliché these days to say that moms need to take time for themselves in order to be good to anyone else, but aren’t clichés usually true?  What happens to us that we end up putting ourselves at the bottom of every to-do list?  Why do we give ourselves the least amount of attention, when we’re oftentimes the only one who really, truly understands what we need? 

It’s time to stage a revolution, ladies – Gwyneth wasn’t trying to rile us up, she was trying to remind us of the person who is still inside.  The challenge for this week is to carve out at least 20 minutes a day to do something that makes you feel and look like yourself again.  It’s not necessarily about clothes and makeup, it’s about doing something that will turn your inner light switch past the “on” position so it hovers right around “radiant”.  Figure out where you need to be on your own personal caring spectrum to feel good about yourself – for you.  For your confidence.  For your sense of self.  And, oh yeah, for your family, too.

Tell us: What’s your tip for remaining somewhere on the “caring spectrum”?  How do you fit in time to care every day? 

To read the full Harper’s Bazaar interview with Gwyneth Paltrow, click here: Gwyneth’s Interview

Photo Credit: Harper’s Bazaar

Posted by Fitz