Before Baby

After Baby

 

 

Made sure I was wearing makeup before leaving the house.

 

Make sure that I am not sporting facial hair before leaving the house.

Made sure I got regular manicures.

Make sure that I clip my nails before I scratch someone’s eyes out.

 

Made sure my outfit was cute and in fashion.

Make sure my outfit does not have pureed vegetables on it.  Or fruit.  Or formula.  Or spit up.

 

Made sure my boobs looked awwwwwesome!

Make sure my boobs aren’t visiting the southern hemisphere.

 

Made sure I ate regularly-scheduled, nutritious meals.

Make sure I always have granola bars in case I don’t have time/enough hands to eat anything else.

 

Made sure that my husband and I had regular dates.

Make sure that I can be awake past 8:00 p.m. to spend time with my husband.

 

Made sure that there was no muffin top to be seen, even in the sassiest jeans.

Make sure that I buy “mid-rise” (read: old lady)jeans to (try to) conceal the muffin top, which was clearly acquired at Dunkin’ Donuts rather than a low-fat mini-muffin store.

 

Made sure that I knew all of the “best” ways to be a parent, and vowed that I’d always do things the “right” way.

 

Make sure I do the best I can, and ease up on myself once in awhile. 

Posted by Fitz

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