Posted by Duff

If you get frustrated by your spouse and would like to feel less so, please read this article from Parents magazine, written by single mother Lori Gottlieb with more sense of humor than I think I would have in her shoes.

I’m not always able to step back from the moment and appreciate how wonderful it is to have someone around who loves your child as much as you do. And usually loves you, and may show it by trying to do nice things, even when you’re not being nice.

I recently spent nearly three days alone with The Dervish, and if that didn’t remind me how great it is to have someone in my corner, even if just as a backup at his most involved with the  NFL Playoffs, Lori Gottlieb did.

The other day, I asked my husband to entertain The Dervish for three minutes while I spent some quality time by myself for whatever reason I wanted it. Asking should be enough, right? But I need to ask, because if I wasn’t interesting enough to The Dervish (who knows why) just standing in the same room, I become infinitely more so when I walk away, particularly when I need to attend to myself in some way.


Fewer than three minutes later, she was trying the doorknob and I was holding it shut (we have disabled the locks in our house for her safety, since she’s lock happy these days). But she persisted, and since I knew she was standing in the dark and probably couldn’t find her way back whence she came, and she was growing more frustrated, I opened the door.

She was psyched to see me. I was not nearly as elated to find my husband seated comfortably in front of the TV, caught up in cycling.

I reminded myself that she rarely seeks him out the same way she does me. He doesn’t know what it feels like not to have a moment for his personal business.  I told myself to ask him for what I needed much more specifically, though pleasantly, the next time we were confronted with the same situation.

And that approach yielded much better results than me asking him what the hell was wrong with him that he couldn’t keep The Dervish entertained for three minutes.