Posted by Duff

You could fill a book with things I’ve forgotten about having a newborn. Luckily, someone did, and I’m re-reading it lately.

Everyone tells me it will just come back to me, and I appreciate their faith, but I’m still skeptical. I had forgotten you need to fold back diapers so they don’t cover the umbilical stump.  That there are different sized bottle nipples and flow is important to preventing gas and spit up. The evangelical humor of the startle reflex.

MC, I apologize in advance. Your mother is leaking vital information. I don’t want to screw you up irreversibly, just try to remember that.

At what point should I expect x, y, z milestones? Keeping in mind that this is, of course, a different child than my first and no expectations should be set, no comparisons made, if I’m to avoid that habit.

I have a child who never stops talking, and I’m about to meet one who won’t so much as crack a smile for six weeks.  I guess the flip side of that is while the former is on a constant quest for entertainment, she will act as a source of the same for the latter.

I’m intimidated by starting over again. The first one didn’t come with a manual, why should this one be any different? Oh, wait, s/he will be, in no shortage of ways. There is no real preparation for that.

Even so, I’m excited to experience this again, from a different perspective, as a different version of myself, with a different brand new person, knowing I somehow navigated the unknown once already and am still here to tell the tale.

Since this will be the last time, time has never been so immeasurably precious.  I feel the wistful ache already. These few weeks of kicks are the last I will feel from the inside.

Forever.

Which makes toes curled under my ribs take my breath away in more than one way. I forgot so many things after last time. This is one thing I can’t bear to forget.

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