Posted by Fitz

I’m not a sneaky person, really.  I swear.  But lately, I’ve found myself acting like some sort of spy around The Bean – always trying to get her to do something and have her think it’s her idea, pushing something by her so she doesn’t notice, or doing anything I can to avoid interrupting her when she’s happy alone.  It’s exhausting – I don’t know how secret agents do it.

Already today, I’ve crept down the stairs like Tom Cruise’s character in Mission Impossible, just to try and get 15 minutes to have a cup of coffee – alone and in peace.  I’ve hidden broccoli in the Bean’s morning omelet and have roasted butternut squash to hide in her macaroni and cheese.  I have distracted her with her “baby” so I could sneak her grungy lovey into the wash before naptime (because of course she can’t sleep without it – that thing is like catnip to a kitten).  I fully plan on giving her the cookies she loves – but I limit – so we can make it to BJs without a peep later on.   These little tricks seem to be what get us through the day in a healthy, happy way – and I’m amazed at how well they work.

I recently read an article in Parents magazine that reported that most moms lie to their kids a lot.  They covered all sorts of whoppers from “Fluffy went to live at a farm” to changing the clocks ahead an hour to get their older kids to sleep earlier (really???).  It was eye opening to me, because I never realized that I am lying to The Bean – my intentions are good, but will the impact be positive?  Will my little veggie lies and lovey kidnapping scar her for life? I spent a lot of time thinking about this, and came to the following conclusion:  I don’t know, but I doubt it.

In my mind, it’s mostly okay to use a few spy tricks to get your mom job done (although the clock thing makes me raise an eyebrow).   Maybe this means I’m turning into a sneaky person, but to me it means that I’m doing what I have to do to keep my kid safe and entertained throughout the day.  Now all I need is a black catsuit and a pair of super cool dark glasses to help me fully realize my spy potential.