Posted by Duff

I envy those who have known what they were going to name their children since they were children themselves. Especially if these people were able to get their spouses to go along with it.  We just aren’t those people.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s difficult to name an entire person for the rest of his or her life.  The only way I was able to name one already was that she was a girl. A boy might still be unnamed.

As is this baby, if he’s a boy. My husband and I can’t decide on a single “This is it” name for our hypothetical son. He has already had two set in stone names that are no longer under consideration. Says wonders for our resolve, I’m sure.

One sounded too matchy with The Dervish’s name. The other turned out to be the name of someone who pissed me off sufficiently that I couldn’t let him think I named my son after him (ok, not just that, but suddenly everyone started mentioning how frequently it was being used despite our not knowing anyone under the age of eight with the name). Mostly, though, both names just started to feel like Decent Names – Just Not our Son.

Maybe because neither of us can imagine ourselves with a son because we don’t have one? The Dervish was not hard to name. We had several names we liked enough to use at any given time. But in Hour Eight of my labor, I said, “If it’s a boy, I just can’t name him (name we had chosen but would never have occasion to use).  Our backup name would have made him one of three within the neighborhood we moved to a year later.

Not to mention the 20 some-odd boy names we couldn’t/can’t use because of close family or friends’ sons and nearly three decades of mostly boys being born within those circles.

So, we sit on the cusp of the birth of our second child. Assured that the girl name we’ve chosen is the right one, the perfect one for our child. But when it comes to the boy name, we may have to play eenie, meenie, minie moe between two names that are good, solid names, neither of which resonates with us at this point as Our Son’s Name. 

What if we choose one name and always wish we had always chosen the other?” my husband called me up to ask me at work after changing the calendar to May and realizing that his youngest is virtually two weeks away from arriving.

 Which got me thinking: will we have impacted his life by choosing a name that a future  potential employer may have a bad association with and thus cost him his dream job? Will someone think of a way to make fun of him that we haven’t anticipated? Will it just not fit him?

Possibly. But he’ll grow into it, plain and simple, I tell myself. When we see him, we will know which one to use. 

Or, maybe I’ll just let the Dervish make the decision – trusting the intuition of a nearly three-year-old for its purity and self-assurance.

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