Posted by Fitz

As a parent, you have hopes and dreams for your children.  You want them to be happy, fulfilled, willing to take risks, and a benefit to society.  You want them to be be funny, or serious, or booksmart, or the life of the party.  Whatever your wishes are for your children, we all have ways in which we will measure our success as parents to these little creatures who depend on us for everything from basic security to values to culture.  One of the ways I plan to measure my success is to make sure that my Bean does NOT fall into some celebrity-inspired behavioral trap, including the following activities:

  1. Become one of the girls or guys ripe for picking on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette even if they are “there for the right reasons”.
  2. Think that a permatan, big boobs, and eyeliner are acceptable replacements for brains and humility.
  3. Be involved in any MTV reality show*.
  4. Think that Mean Girls is a way of life rather than a cautionary tale.
  5. Aspire to be like Britney, Heidi from The Hills, or Miley Cyrus.  (Even writing this makes me shudder.)
  6. Feel entitled to things that she hasn’t worked for.
  7. Wear teeny tiny clothes to school, work, and/or family functions.
  8. Skip underwear to avoid panty lines – while wearing a short dress.
  9. Think that Lindsay Lohan is a true “star”.
  10. Look down on other girls because of what they are/aren’t wearing.

*While I will discourage MTV reality shows, I am perfectly fine with The Beanie doing Idol or So You Think You Can Dance.  Just for the record.

So, Beanie, if you’re reading this you already know that I’m not going to stand for you becoming some celebrity-obsessed trampy girl.  I don’t care what’s in fashion, or how cool it makes you – we’ll make sure you have everything you need as long as it’s tasteful and appropriate for your age.  I’m sure we’ll fight about it, and you’ll think that I’m the epitome of uncool, but I don’t care.  You’ll thank me for it someday.  Love you!