Posted by Fitz

On behalf of the gloroius, New England heat wave we’re experiencing this week, here are some things that your friends are thinking as they mop sweat from their brow:

1.  At the pool with you:  “Hmm, someone didn’t spend enough time in the gym this….” Stop right there.  Your friend isn’t thinking this, just you are.  She has her own issues to deal with, and she’s not thinking about your thighs.  Seriously.

2.  At the beach: “When did I last put sunscreen on the kid?  Was it one hour ago?  Two?  Is his face flushed from the heat or because he has a third degree burn? Am I going to be arrested for this?”

3.  At home: “Only X days till school starts – yippee!”  Followed by disappointment about the fact that her baby doesn’t actually go to school…yet.

4.  On date night: “So, honey?  What are we supposed to talk about if we’re not talking about the kids?  When was the last time we even went out alone?”

5.  To herself: “If I have to take these kids to one more freaking library on one more freaking raining day….”

6.  To herself: “Is this Secret Clinical really working?”

7.  To herself: “God, please don’t let me ever be pregnant in this heat!”

8.  To herself: “A vacation with kids is not really a vacation…it’s a family trip.”

9.  To her husband: “I need a day alone.  Seriously.  Now.  Goodbye!  Hey, wait – take the kids!”

10.  With your other friends: “I can’t believe how well (insert your name here) pulls everything together.  She’s like superwoman, with the best sense of humor!”

Advertisements