Posted by Duff

These aren’t the ones that are going to send them to therapy, but I have definitely made more work for myself. Please learn from my mistakes:

1. Swearing in front of a three-year-old. I rarely swear. It sounds unnatural coming out of my mouth. If you know me, you know what I’m talking about. But, the other day, I locked myself, The Dervish, and Atticus out of the house. As soon as I realized what I’d done, I swore. As soon as I realized what I’d said, I swore again – and then, again, this time in my head. (I, however, am not responsible for how The Dervish came to use the mother of all swears in front of my mother-in-law. Cut to my husband dropping a can of soda on his foot.)

2. Not having a good (and more importantly, immediate) response when that three-year-old yells at meDON’T yell at me!” Well, where do I think she learned it? I can time out her as much as I want. She still won’t understand why she’s not allowed to exhibit the same unruly (and unproductive) behavior bestowed upon her.  Some kids have the decency to cry. Atticus cries when I yell at his sister. The Dervish, refusing to stand accused, constructs syllogisms.  Eff. Know your audience.

3. Mentioning that both of my kids went to bed easily and slept well two nights in a row. If you have never done this and don’t know the consequences, try it. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side of Up All Night with a case of Red Bull.

And with that, I’m off to wreak more havoc upon myself.