Posted by AVM

Parenthood is a gracious miracle.  And I don’t just mean the whole growing-a-human-being-from-two-cells kind of miracle (although that IS something).  What I mean is that parenthood graciously reveals itself to you in increments.  The first three weeks you’re thrown into the deep end without a doubt.  Swim, my friends, swim, because failure is not an option.  After that, though, you earn your parenting stripes slowly, and thankfully so.  If you had to give birth to a child one day and the next have to worry about them driving your car and missing curfew, well, you’d never survive.  No, first, your job is just to feed your baby.  Next, get him or her to sleep at night.  Next, figure out this little one’s personality, and over the next 20 years, make it possible for that child to shine.  That last part is a big one, and it encompasses hundreds of thousands of milestones that reveal themselves to you like a rose opening to full bloom.  I’m in the midst of two parallel spectrums – with Lovey, I’m at the crest of potty training, and with CeeCee, I’m working on my “routine” and “sleeping through the night” badges. 

I couldn’t have written this three weeks ago.  I was still in the throes of furiously treading water to stay alive (and saying to my husband nightly, “I’m looking forward to the girls being 9- and 12-years-old, ok?”).  Now, I am happy to report, six weeks into being a mother of two, we’re in a groove.  We’re in this week’s groove – not to be confused with next week’s groove, as that will undoubtedly be different.  CeeCee’s more predictable, and Lovey continues to go with the flow.  Sure, life is hectic, but my husband and I are less stressed about it.  As with most changes in life, this has become our new normal.  Hectic is comfortable – it feels good and normal.  I’m not just saying that to convince myself – I mean it.  It helps of course that the early weeks’ work is starting to pay off.  CeeCee is smiling.  She’s watching the world around her.  She sees me.  Our relationship is no longer one-sided – she’s giving back to us,  and it’s a payoff that makes my heart swell.  In the previous six short weeks, and the long nine months that preceded them, I never thought we’d get here.  And I know that it’s only getting better from here.  What felt scary at first, seems manageable, and even enjoyable.  And if I can get here, anyone can.  I am looking forward to the days and weeks and months (and years!) that are stretched out before us.  I’m exhaling finally.  I like this new normal.  I love it, in fact.

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