KT, our lovely guest blogger, has been a great friend of mine since we traveled Asia together pre-kids.  Footloose, fancy free (and just hampered by some work commitments), we were instant friends.  Both of our lives have changed drastically since that amazing trip, and I wanted our readers to hear her story.  I admire her for being smart, with it, and a great mom…not to mention her everyday heroics as a mom with three kids under three.  Enjoy!

-Fitz

I have three children. Under the age of three. Simon is two and a half, and Emma and Claire are 14 months. I don’t find many people in our situation. In fact, I get more “You must be crazy” stares than I’d like to count. All pregnancies were planned, and although twins don’t run in my family to my knowledge, they certainly do now.

Lately, I’ve been having a pretty difficult time. I don’t know if other parents with more than one child (or parents of multiples) run into this, but if they do, I’d love to have any tips from them. Most of the time, my husband and I operate in complete survival mode. With my first child, I had tons of time to cuddle. I read to him constantly. The television was hardly turned on. I barely left him alone, dragging him into the bathroom with me so I could peak out of the shower to make sure he was still in his bouncy chair (or my vibrator, as my mother-in-law thinks it’s called).

Now that I have three small children, I’m lucky if I dress them in clothes other than pajamas. I can tell you just about every show that runs on Nick Jr., and all of us can sing almost every Move to the Music song. Simon knew his colors, alphabet, and numbers at a very early age. I realized recently that I hardly read to my girls, and I don’t know that I’ve filled in their baby books at all within the last six months. My pediatrician reads off a list of milestones that the girls are supposed to be having, and I honestly think they’re meeting them with flying colors, but I don’t really know what those milestones are until the doctor mentions them. Clapping? Yes, definitely. Drawing with a crayon? I haven’t really thought about trying that with them (althought I did try it when we got home, and they just ate it.) Sometimes I fear that my girls will be in kindergarten, will not know their colors, numbers, and alphabet, and will hold me bitterly responsible. And I really beat myself up over all this.

Reality set in about a few weeks ago when a dose of life smacked me right in the face. My cousin died at 49 after doctors discovered cancer only five weeks earlier. A friend from college who has a young daughter was diagnosed with stage four cancer. My great aunt died. And all of that can really put things into perspective. Yes, I should read more to them. Getting out of the house and away from the TV could be a really good thing. But I learn to grab the really great, simple things and hold on to them. Claire saying “duck” today for the first time; Simon singing three little monkeys jumping on the bed; the softness of Emma’s belly as I kissed her before her bath. I know in the pit of my being that those things are the things that really matter. And if I can just let life slow down a bit for a few moments of the day, I may be able to get through and notice the simplicity of the beauty of my children.

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