Posted by AVM

I’ve been in a pretty foul mood lately.  Everyone in the house is sick and whiny.  I am just tired, and I think the hamster wheel routine is getting to me.  One of the things I’ve been thinking about is how my husband and I are getting further and further away from who we used to be.  Some couples hike and bike together.  Some couples love to go to movies.  Some love to play tennis.  My husband and I fell in love over food.  We’ve been to the best restaurants in NY and in various cities around the globe.  We’re “foodies” (as much as I hate that term).  A night out at a spectacular restaurant, drinks at a great bar and some live music, and you’ve just described our entire courtship.  And I’ve got the extra weight to prove it.  Each pound came from the sturgeon at Ouest, the champagne at Carmen de San Miguel, the risotto at Stella, the chimichurri at Los Pibes, the foie gras at Bonaparte.   We love to travel, taste the local fare, and watch the world go by.  It was a hedonistic indulgent lovely life.

Obviously, those days are over.  Or at least on hiatus.  I have dreams of traveling with the girls and getting back to it, but we’re in the weeds right now (as one of my colleagues calls these years with very young children).  This weekend we had a great meal out with our good friends, and it’s times like those that I catch a glimpse of the couple we used to be.  In the windows of the restaurant on Saturday night, I saw reflections of two people who love to hold hands, whose eyes no longer front carefree thoughts of sleeping in and figuring out which new brunch place to try in the morning, but who still have the same idea about what we hope our future will look like.  And I saw a couple who are lucky enough to have two great daughters.  Honestly, they light up our lives, and they’re turning us into two new, better people.  Parents who will hopefully teach our girls to love other cultures and places and foods.  Parents who, when we’re at the top of our game (and not wheezing, coughing, sneezing, and shivering from this plague upon our house), are fun and interesting people.  I hope Lovey and CeeCee can see that in us someday.

Reading this post back, I am filled with guilt.  If given the choice, I wouldn’t trade this life for our old life.  I wouldn’t.  I love this life.  And I love my daughters with all of my heart.  To hear my Lovey sing the entire score to The Little Mermaid (doing all the voices) and to hear CeeCee giggle uncontrollably as she watches Lovey perform it, is to know love.  Our lives are full and I do appreciate that.  I think sometimes I just miss the old us.  And that’s ok.