Posted by Duff

Disclaimer: I’ll be coming at you a little more clipped and unedited until the Duffs figure out our new schedule, so please bear with me.

I’m two weeks into the SAH mom thing, and have observed the following in that short time:

1. This is a different kind of tired. My brain moves in fewer directions now (I remember to put soap in the washing machine) but my arms, legs and back definitely need some time to get used to this new role. At night, my body is tired, but my brain could use some gymnastics. Maybe I’ll start reading again.

2. I’m finally having a good time with my kids. You’re probably asking what the hell was wrong with me in the first place, that I wasn’t enjoying our time together. For the last six months, I wondered the same thing. It turns out, I was bringing the office home, always thinking about the next thing I had to do or the next day I had to prepare for. Some people are great compartmentalizing.  I needed this time away from the 9-5 to practice living in the moment.

3. For the first time in 8 years, my husband and I have the same days off. Not such a big deal before we had kids – we found hours here and there, but for the last 3 1/2 years, our relationship has been a lot of notes, lists left on counters, brief (although frequent) phone calls, and baton passing. Until he realizes absence made his heart grow fonder, this is nice.

4. I’m obviously a novice, because I try to clean the house all day. It’s endless, it’s thankless, and I’ll probably get over it. But for now, I’m enjoying my own idealism.

5. This time, however brief, is a gift.  It’s a privilege to take Atticus for his afternoon walk. It’s a blast to create pre-dinner watercolor masterpieces with The Dervish.

 I know how lucky I am. And I say that unfresh off three nights of poor sleep, amid the realization that it’s just as difficult to get The Dervish off to preschool as it was before ( just far less crucial), and a Herculean effort to keep a child occupied when all she’s ever known is constant, varied stimuli and multiple playmates. I’ve got a ways to go. And maybe before I get there, I’ll be working again.

In the meantime, this is not bad. Not bad at all.