Posted by Fitz

“We are young…tantrum to tantrum we stand…no promises, all demands…two is a battlefield!”

Pat Benatar has been on some talk shows lately, and every time I see her and her husband do an acoustic version of Love is a Battlefield, I find myself reworking the lyrics to fit the Bean’s new attitude towards life.  You moms of twos and ups know – they are asserting their independence, making their voices heard, and testing their parents (sometimes to the brink of sanity).  

While the Bean has always been independent, it has only been a few months since she has begun to really push it at home.  I make green beans, she wants broccoli.  I pull out the pink shorts, she wants the blue.  I say chicken, she says cake.  And so on, and so on, and so on.  All opinions are shared with a raise of her generous eyebrows and an ever-so-slight narrowing of her giant green eyes, and said in a tone that I’m sure we’ll hear time and time again starting at age 12.

I admit that, on a few occasions, I’ve almost lost my cool.  With a newborn and sleep deprivation, I sometimes just cannot take the constant negotiation, or all of the “NO!s”, or the firm parenting that I know is best in this type of situation.  It’s exhausting and frustrating and it doesn’t feel better to know that all of my friends with same-age kids are going through it, too.  But, this is a stage like everything else, and like all of the other stages we’ve been through, it will pass and we’ll hardly remember it.

My hope for this stage is that the Bean doesn’t remember all of the times I’ve left the room out of frustration, or every single “no” and “don’t” she’s heard.  I hope that she forgets every battle right after it happens, and remembers that I love her and her sister more than life itself.  Because at the end of the day, we’re both figuring this relationship out as we go – one battle at a time.