Posted by Fitz

In the words of the great Diana Ross (and of course, Beyonce), it’s just emotions taking me over.  I’m not completely caught up in sorrow with tears on my pillow, but I’m the equivalent of a teenager in a hormone crisis when it comes to my feelings right now.  After sixteen weeks (!!) of maternity leave, I’m headed back to work next week.

I have so many things running through my head.  First and foremost, how will my 3-month old Sweet Pea do in daycare?  I didn’t go back to work after having The Bean until her first birthday, so this is unchartered territory.  Will the teachers know how to soothe her?  Can they (please) regulate her nap schedule?  Will she still know how much I love her?  These questions course through my mind on an hourly basis.  I have a strong feeling – after visiting her class and spending time with the wonderful caregivers – that she’ll be fine.  So how will I do with it all?  That remains to be seen, but I’ve bought some waterproof mascara.  I’m positive I’ll need it.

My second biggest concern is about our routine.  We had it down pat when it was just our Bean in daycare, but now we’ll have two – and as luck would have it, the Bean’s new preschool-oriented class is in a different building a half mile away from Sweetie’s infant room.  There will be no easy way to drop them off and pick them up, and it will require leaving the house much earlier than before.  We’ll settle into some kind of pattern, I’m sure, but how long will it take?   My husband and I have resolved to MAKE SURE everything is 100% ready the night before and to not turn into The Bickersons, but we’ll see how it goes.

Third, I’m excited.  I’m heading back to a great team with a bigger role, and am really looking forward to having extended adult interaction again.  I did a brief conference call this week and was really into it – probably more than my colleagues expected/wanted.  It will be nice to get validation and see measurable results, bring home some bacon, and wear clothes that don’t include khaki shorts and a white t-shirt.  Bring.it.on.

The more I think about it, the more ready I am to be heading back to the daily grind.  My choice to be a work-outside-the-home mom continues to be a difficult, yet ultimately rewarding one. I know beyond a doubt that the daycare we have chosen is the right one for us, and trust the teachers there with my most valuable commodities.  While I’m a bit anxious and know that tears will be part of the next few weeks, I know that this is the right thing for our family…and that we’ll get used to it eventually.  Wish us luck.

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