Posted by Duff

You think if you don’t curse, and you speak kindly to others in front of your children, you’re doing okay.

And in my case, that’s not enough. There is an entire category of sub-swears, and you may not even realize you’re using them until they’ve been catalogued and cross-referenced for (in)appropriate context.

For example: This past weekend, our family of four spent a decent amount of time driving to and from a family party. On trips of this length, I often ask The Dervish what Atticus is up to in his carseat.

Typical answers: He’s playing around. He’s sleeping with his mouth open. He’s looking at his hands.

But yesterday? I could tell from the sound of her voice that she didn’t bother looking at him before she dismissed me with:

He’s breaking my stones.

I may or may not have been responsible for adding that gem to her vocabulary. The jury’s still out.

But for the record, Atticus has been known to break stones.